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I haven’t read it, but I tend to find that anything by Wendell Berry is well worth reading.
The core point I disagree with here is the concept of “associative guilt”. This concept that as I perceive is held consciously or unconsciously by Catholics, is that since some person somewhere did something bad and sinned, someone else–someone completely uninvolved and innocent of that particular specific sin–must repent and feel guilty for that particular sin, even though they never committed it. And as I see it, Catholics not only see this as almost necessary (“You don’t have to do it, but you should”), but they see it as an honorable thing to do.
This is a twisted and inaccurate “honor”. This “associative guilt” concept is very close to the tactic the current American Left uses to smear anybody they hate, particularly straight white men, with a wrongdoing or supposed wrongdoing their ancestors committed, the blame of which the current and innocent generation must pay for. Example: slavery. It is not enough that white men ended slavery, the Left wants current white men to feel guilty and abase themselves on the altar of Associative Guilt. It completely warps the concept of individuals being responsible for their individual rights and wrongs all out of proportion.
And I mention this because this is what you describe Jaybar doing when he sees Mattie’s husband being unfaithful. He is innocent of any wrongdoing, yet he sells his car, never attends a party in the other town again (hampers what social life he could have), and makes a promise for a sin that was never associated with him to begin with. The intention is admirable, but this actual negation of self makes no sense to me, especially since it is done for someone else’s sin.
This is not honor, this is a misdirected good intention warped into a straitjacket of scrupulosity. This twists the sense of responsibility for one’s individual acts in a bad and incorrect way.
A final note. You begin the article with, “As someone who sees perennial bachelorhood as a societal sickness…” That you imply you have little to no sympathy for single men confirms the suspicious I’ve had viewing your blog over the years. Single men have enough weight on their shoulders (jobs, finding friends, finding direction in their lives) without Catholics trying to guilt them and nag them into an institution (marriage) which may or may not work out for them. I do wish marriages could work better and hold together. I do not wish to guilt, nag, or bully a man into marriage. This is what I see you and almost every other Catholic “men’s speaker” doing. This is why I moved to reading Rollo Tomassi, Deep Strength, Cane Caldo, and Throne and Altar over you.
Bravo to your concluding paragraph, Lukas. That’s also been my opinion of this site and others like it who claim to be the self-appointed voices of “authentic Catholic manhood”. The lay power structure of parishes and dioceses (you know, the ones who load up their “men’s conferences” with speakers from sites like this) love this stuff because it perpetuates the status quo of “women good, men bad”.
I too enjoyed “Jayber Crow” and I thought it Wendell Berry’s best story in his Faulkner-esque southern small town series. Your article helps put my thoughts into words and I like the juxtaposition with the priesthood..